Our Canvas

Monet is thought to have reused his canvases.  Often unsatisfied with his work, he would reuse canvases, painting over entire works of art that many would have considered masterpieces.

I attended a Monet exhibit in Denver several years ago and surprisingly enjoyed the history associated with his ambition.  I have often wondered…does anyone ever really know what motivates masterpieces.  What drives direction?  Is it confidence?  Is it fear?

Ten years ago Parker, our youngest son, had a severe allergic reaction to food.  We were an active, “healthy” family and food allergies were a distant rumor.  I was an English teacher and I had spent 12 years teaching students in various capacities the power and importance of words.  I enjoyed the mission of my teaching and I was abruptly presented with a decision that would change the course of my life; force me to paint a different picture.  I had planned to retire as a teacher.  I had planned on summers off and scripted time with my kids and family.  I had planned to paint my accomplishments from the canvas of education. 

But I hadn’t planned on Parker’s allergies or my inability to help him.  I hadn’t planned on the fear of failing him or my family.  I hadn’t planned on the need for a new direction.

Then the message came.  The Boss’s song, Devils and Dust…

”I’ve got God on my side; I’m just trying to survive, but if what you do to survive kills the things you love... Fear is a powerful thing.  It can turn your heart black you can trust.  It will take your God-filled soul and fill it with devils and dust.”

I wasn’t going to let fear cloud our canvas.

So I quit teaching, planted a garden, and kept painting.